I see the sun

I think this dark cloud of depression is beginning to lift. It is probably a combination of the increased dose of Zoloft, adding Vitamin D, a lot of prayer and time. I am finding it is easier to deal with the daily stresses of life. I am less irritable, less tired. I even tried to lay down for a nap last night after work and found that I actually did not need it.

I also started therapy this week but it was an intake appointment so we have not begun to work. She is working out what my official diagnosis is. Her initial feeling was dysthymia or an adjustment disorder. I looked up both and I would go along more with dysthymia which is sort of a "low-grade" ongoing depression that for me has been under control. It's chronic but not severe. This seems to fit. But I will let her discuss that more with me. Other than that, I like her a lot. I found her very easy to talk to and she was very straightforward with her methods of therapy and it is exactly what I want.

My life continues to be stressful. Financial stress always abound. I learned this week that my rent check for July bounced. I have no idea how I am going to cover that. And due to an issue with my kids uploading games to a new cell phone, my cell phone bill was much higher than planned and that too did not clear the bank and was returned. So, now my phones are cut off and I don't know how I will be able to get that resolved either. What I do know is that God is in control. This weekend, there is nothing I can do but sit tight and turn my anxiety over to the Lord.

I had a dream in which a friend came to me and told me the very same thing. The friend said, "What we do know, Tulip, is that God is in control. And that is enough." When I woke up from that, I knew it was my divine message.

So, I will enjoy this last weekend before the craziness of the first week of school starts. My work week ahead will be equally crazy. My Nurse counterpart will be out most of the week due to the death of her father so I will be picking up some of her cases for the week. I am working 3 days this week but my Thursday will be a long day as I have a client to pick up at 7:45am and my last client to see at 6:30pm. "And hours to go before I sleep..."

So, this weekend my objective is to rest and relax.