My little first grader, Pumpkin Head, is reading and spelling. He is quite tickled by this fact. Up until now, he has said he was just "practicing" but the other night we were at church having supper before Wednesday night clubs and BB offered to read a prayer off the table tent. After BB was done, I said to PH, "Next week, you can read the prayer."
"Oh Mommy, I can't read yet."
"You can't? What have you been doing in school all this time?" And then I had him read one of the prayers. He only stumbled on a few words but was able to sound out the rest just fine. After he finished and I said, "Honey, that was real nice reading.", he just about glowed like light on a Christmas tree.
Well, now that the connection has been made that he can read, he has realized that he can SPELL. Most of the time.
But I overheard him say to Peanut, "Peanut, I told you not to do that...Do you hear me...I said O-N."
I about fell off my chair. He was so sincere.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Presents from my Cat
My kitten is now 5 months old. She's the sweetest thing. We are all crazy about her. And this week, she has told us in her kitten way, that we are special to her. She brought us a gift. Twice.
I will warn you that this may be a little graffic
She came trotting up the stairs. Actually, it would be more acurate to say that she was strutting. So, I looked at her and she had something in her mouth. Princess was next to me and says, "OHHH! She has a mouse."
"Good Girl, Tiger"
She went downstairs with her trophy and I am thinking to myself, "I wonder where I will find the carcass?"
A few more minutes go by, and here comes Tiger again. The mouse is in her mouth. Apparently, the applause was not enough. She struts all the way in to my room and now I can see that she has the mouse by the back foot and it is not dead. The eyes are still shiny.
I found that a little unsettling.
My daughter squeaked as the mouse made a squeak. Tiger then drops the mouse, only to then quickly snatch it up again and trot back out of my room in triumph. If she could have made a noise with the mouse in her mouth, it would have been a haughty "hmmmphh".
I looked at my daughter and said, "I do believe that she was showing off. And wants us to know what a good hunter she is."
Then out of the corner of my eye, I see Tiger in the kitchen, she drops something and then jumps in the air and starts to romp. She was not done with her prey. She had more playing to do.
I am proud that she is a good mouser. I do so hate having mice in my house and I would rather not resort to poison. I am not opposed to it. I just don't like it. So, that was part of the reason for getting a cat and choosing not to declaw her...to keep little critters out of my house. I just wish she would keep these little gifts and trophies to herself. But then, how is a cat supposed to say "I love you guys and thanks for the food, the warm place to sleep and the playtime." She can't take the keys and go to Wal-mart for a card. I don't even think she can read. So, I shall resign to the occasional token mouse. New York's cat Cookie is a good hunter too. She brings him chipmunks. It's only fair.
However, this has inspired my daughter with an idea for her Young Inventors Fair. She needs to design some sort of invention. I told her that she should invent some sort of mini trash can that the cat can step on and drop her "gift" in and I would not have to scoop up a dead mouse, only tie up a little trash bag and toss it away. But seeing my kitty in action, she isn't likely to utilize such a convenience for my sake. But Princess needed a creative idea. The assignment said nothing about having to be totally based in reality.
I will warn you that this may be a little graffic
She came trotting up the stairs. Actually, it would be more acurate to say that she was strutting. So, I looked at her and she had something in her mouth. Princess was next to me and says, "OHHH! She has a mouse."
"Good Girl, Tiger"
She went downstairs with her trophy and I am thinking to myself, "I wonder where I will find the carcass?"
A few more minutes go by, and here comes Tiger again. The mouse is in her mouth. Apparently, the applause was not enough. She struts all the way in to my room and now I can see that she has the mouse by the back foot and it is not dead. The eyes are still shiny.
I found that a little unsettling.
My daughter squeaked as the mouse made a squeak. Tiger then drops the mouse, only to then quickly snatch it up again and trot back out of my room in triumph. If she could have made a noise with the mouse in her mouth, it would have been a haughty "hmmmphh".
I looked at my daughter and said, "I do believe that she was showing off. And wants us to know what a good hunter she is."
Then out of the corner of my eye, I see Tiger in the kitchen, she drops something and then jumps in the air and starts to romp. She was not done with her prey. She had more playing to do.
I am proud that she is a good mouser. I do so hate having mice in my house and I would rather not resort to poison. I am not opposed to it. I just don't like it. So, that was part of the reason for getting a cat and choosing not to declaw her...to keep little critters out of my house. I just wish she would keep these little gifts and trophies to herself. But then, how is a cat supposed to say "I love you guys and thanks for the food, the warm place to sleep and the playtime." She can't take the keys and go to Wal-mart for a card. I don't even think she can read. So, I shall resign to the occasional token mouse. New York's cat Cookie is a good hunter too. She brings him chipmunks. It's only fair.
However, this has inspired my daughter with an idea for her Young Inventors Fair. She needs to design some sort of invention. I told her that she should invent some sort of mini trash can that the cat can step on and drop her "gift" in and I would not have to scoop up a dead mouse, only tie up a little trash bag and toss it away. But seeing my kitty in action, she isn't likely to utilize such a convenience for my sake. But Princess needed a creative idea. The assignment said nothing about having to be totally based in reality.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Random Thoughts
#1 Aliens Abducted my Children but I think I like it
I have begun to prepare my school children for my impending arrival from work by giving them a warning call and telling them of my expectations:
1)lunch box on the counter,
2)shoes in the laundry room
3)backpacks and coats hanging in the laundry room.
It makes me less stressed and they are less "surprised" when I come home to find those things have not done or why I would be angry because they aren't. And I don't even have to raise my voice. I can say, "I believe I talked to you each on the phone and you agreed..." which is usually followed by a scrambling of feet. If it were a cartoon, I believe their feet would be represented as wheels and there would be a cloud of dust behind them.
Today, I came home and an unfamiliar odor was wafting through the house as I opened the door. I was intrigued. It was not unpleasant. It did not smell dangerous, like the sulfur of burnt matches or burnt toast. It smelled like "clean". Then I looked around and BB was dusting. PH was sweeping and Princess was using the Wet Jet on the tile floor on the landing.
I quickly stepped outside to check the numbers on the house to make sure I was in the right place. The numbers matched my checkbook. The kids looked familiar.
"Ok. Who are you? What have you done with MY children and...how long are you staying?"
_________________________________________________________
#2 Boy Babies
Peanut has been cracking me up this week. He is pretty funny most of the time anyway but lately, he has been especially funny.
He has made some bold declarations:
1)Boys when they grow up will have Boy Babies and Girls will have girl Babies
2)When he grows up he will have a boy baby that he will name after himself
3)And Kassiday WILL NOT be the mom
4)He will marry mommy. He asked me this weekend. three times.
I shared #3 with his daycare provider this morning and she shed some light onto where this was coming from. Kassiday had some declarations of her own.
1)When she grows up, she is going to marry my Peanut
2)And he will be the Daddy of all her babies
I laughed so hard!
A friend of mine at work has a 5 year old daughter who is in Kindergarten and she has a little boy who is in love with her and he has gone so far as to actually proprose to her daughter, even bringing her a ring. (it's plastic with a huge pink rock and peeling "gold" band). My friend asked her daughter what she said when he declared his feelings for her and she replied, "Well, I said 'Thank you'." And then she said that she would keep this treasure in her school box.
Who needs to watch reality TV?
_____________________________________________________________
#3 I have coined a new phrase and would like to declare it here
I was dropping Peanut off at Sunday School. Up til now, he was fine going in, even jubilantly. But this week, he burst into tears, pulled on my leg and was inconsolable. I even tried to point out his friends including the twins, one of whom is a cute girl he always waves to across the sanctuary...nothing worked.
His teacher, Lord Bless her, took him by the hand and said "He'll be fine." I know this would be the case. I have done this with all 4 children. It just surprised me.
I smiled at her and said, "Thank you. I know. It's just a little Mama Drama".
I like that! I think it's catchy.
I have begun to prepare my school children for my impending arrival from work by giving them a warning call and telling them of my expectations:
1)lunch box on the counter,
2)shoes in the laundry room
3)backpacks and coats hanging in the laundry room.
It makes me less stressed and they are less "surprised" when I come home to find those things have not done or why I would be angry because they aren't. And I don't even have to raise my voice. I can say, "I believe I talked to you each on the phone and you agreed..." which is usually followed by a scrambling of feet. If it were a cartoon, I believe their feet would be represented as wheels and there would be a cloud of dust behind them.
Today, I came home and an unfamiliar odor was wafting through the house as I opened the door. I was intrigued. It was not unpleasant. It did not smell dangerous, like the sulfur of burnt matches or burnt toast. It smelled like "clean". Then I looked around and BB was dusting. PH was sweeping and Princess was using the Wet Jet on the tile floor on the landing.
I quickly stepped outside to check the numbers on the house to make sure I was in the right place. The numbers matched my checkbook. The kids looked familiar.
"Ok. Who are you? What have you done with MY children and...how long are you staying?"
_________________________________________________________
#2 Boy Babies
Peanut has been cracking me up this week. He is pretty funny most of the time anyway but lately, he has been especially funny.
He has made some bold declarations:
1)Boys when they grow up will have Boy Babies and Girls will have girl Babies
2)When he grows up he will have a boy baby that he will name after himself
3)And Kassiday WILL NOT be the mom
4)He will marry mommy. He asked me this weekend. three times.
I shared #3 with his daycare provider this morning and she shed some light onto where this was coming from. Kassiday had some declarations of her own.
1)When she grows up, she is going to marry my Peanut
2)And he will be the Daddy of all her babies
I laughed so hard!
A friend of mine at work has a 5 year old daughter who is in Kindergarten and she has a little boy who is in love with her and he has gone so far as to actually proprose to her daughter, even bringing her a ring. (it's plastic with a huge pink rock and peeling "gold" band). My friend asked her daughter what she said when he declared his feelings for her and she replied, "Well, I said 'Thank you'." And then she said that she would keep this treasure in her school box.
Who needs to watch reality TV?
_____________________________________________________________
#3 I have coined a new phrase and would like to declare it here
I was dropping Peanut off at Sunday School. Up til now, he was fine going in, even jubilantly. But this week, he burst into tears, pulled on my leg and was inconsolable. I even tried to point out his friends including the twins, one of whom is a cute girl he always waves to across the sanctuary...nothing worked.
His teacher, Lord Bless her, took him by the hand and said "He'll be fine." I know this would be the case. I have done this with all 4 children. It just surprised me.
I smiled at her and said, "Thank you. I know. It's just a little Mama Drama".
I like that! I think it's catchy.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Go Fish
Did you ever play that game when you were a kid? I remember that we had a deck of cards that were shaped like fish and we would play for hours. My daughter showed me a deck of Go Fish cards when we were out shopping so I decided we would take them home and play. Poor Peanut wanted to play so badly but he doesn't know his fish very well nor does he know his numbers. He didn't stand a chance. They would eat him alive. So, I said that I would play a few hands when I finished with the dishes.
But when I sat down to play with them, I realized that they had their own rules. Banana Boy had 7 sets of pairs and then was dealing the cards. He had an real unfair advantage. Don't take this kid to Vegas!
"Whoa Son! Back the truck up a sec...let me explain to you how Fish is really played."
They didn't believe me and complained that they liked how they were playing it. But all I heard were squabbles and BB seemed to "win" all the time. I wonder why.
"Bring me the directions. Let's read up on it, shall we."
They grumbled and groaned. But pretty soon, they started getting into it. I would whisper into Peanut's ear and he would say, "P-wincess, do you have any St-war fish?" ( I love 4 year olds!!) and then when someone would ask us and we didn't have the card they wanted he would say, "You better catch a fish!"
I did set up some new rules for playing games:
1) Anyone caught cheating is out of the game.
2) The game is over when it stops being fun.
We had another rule when I was growing up but it probably won't be as necessary with boys as it was with a house full of girls. It was "the game is over when someone cries" rule, which was set into the Peterson Game Creed after the "Risk" fiasco of 1987 in which my father stormed through all of Europe, Africa and the Eastern Seaboard on one turn. We girls did not stand a chance. We also had another unwritten rule, "Don't play Risk with Dad."
Anyway, after 2 hands, Peanut was getting bored and I could tell that the fun was beginning to wind down so I suggested we pack it up for the day but they could play another time.
Today, they have been playing Go Fish all day long. I have enjoyed listening to them practice good manners; "Do you have an octopus?"(I'm so sneaky in how I insisted that it was part of the rules) instead of "Hey, give me all yer dolphins, punk!" (my kids don't use the word punk. I used that for creative emphasis.)But by late afternoon, the game was wearing thin and I called an end to it. BB was upset, and griping about it.
"Well, BB, nobody is having fun anymore. Remember that is one of mommy's rules? The game is over when the fun stops?"
"Everyone is still having fun. I'm having fun. It's not fair." said with a hrmmmph.
"Well, son, your sister just stormed up the stairs announcing that she is not a cheater and Pumpkin-head has been pouting because he feels like everyone is picking on him and he never gets any books. That doesn't sound like everyone is having fun."
"Hrmmmph...." as he throws the deck of cards at me. Point taken. Game over.
It brings back such good memories. Even the bickering. I had some good quarrels with my sisters that are now some of my fondest memories. Even the Risk Fiasco and The Great Uno Uprising (when my 3yo sister stomped the tar out of the rest of us who knew our numbers and could read!!) bring thoughts of "those were the good ole days"to mind. Does that mean I am getting old? Oh no.
I have been anxious for my kids to be old enough to understand the concept of games beyond Chutes and Ladders and Candyland. I really could not get into those games. They just bored me to tears. Don't even get me started on "Hi Ho Cherry-O". I hope that does not make me a terrible mother. I am not an athlete. You will not find me out running in the backyard, running with a soccerball or throwing a football, or trying to shoot a lay-up. But I do want some good, healthy competition, some jovial banter and laughter. I want to bond with my children in ways that only happen when you share jokes that no one understands unless they were at the table. That time has finally come. The family game time has arrived. I can almost taste the popcorn and hear the laughter.
But when I sat down to play with them, I realized that they had their own rules. Banana Boy had 7 sets of pairs and then was dealing the cards. He had an real unfair advantage. Don't take this kid to Vegas!
"Whoa Son! Back the truck up a sec...let me explain to you how Fish is really played."
They didn't believe me and complained that they liked how they were playing it. But all I heard were squabbles and BB seemed to "win" all the time. I wonder why.
"Bring me the directions. Let's read up on it, shall we."
They grumbled and groaned. But pretty soon, they started getting into it. I would whisper into Peanut's ear and he would say, "P-wincess, do you have any St-war fish?" ( I love 4 year olds!!) and then when someone would ask us and we didn't have the card they wanted he would say, "You better catch a fish!"
I did set up some new rules for playing games:
1) Anyone caught cheating is out of the game.
2) The game is over when it stops being fun.
We had another rule when I was growing up but it probably won't be as necessary with boys as it was with a house full of girls. It was "the game is over when someone cries" rule, which was set into the Peterson Game Creed after the "Risk" fiasco of 1987 in which my father stormed through all of Europe, Africa and the Eastern Seaboard on one turn. We girls did not stand a chance. We also had another unwritten rule, "Don't play Risk with Dad."
Anyway, after 2 hands, Peanut was getting bored and I could tell that the fun was beginning to wind down so I suggested we pack it up for the day but they could play another time.
Today, they have been playing Go Fish all day long. I have enjoyed listening to them practice good manners; "Do you have an octopus?"(I'm so sneaky in how I insisted that it was part of the rules) instead of "Hey, give me all yer dolphins, punk!" (my kids don't use the word punk. I used that for creative emphasis.)But by late afternoon, the game was wearing thin and I called an end to it. BB was upset, and griping about it.
"Well, BB, nobody is having fun anymore. Remember that is one of mommy's rules? The game is over when the fun stops?"
"Everyone is still having fun. I'm having fun. It's not fair." said with a hrmmmph.
"Well, son, your sister just stormed up the stairs announcing that she is not a cheater and Pumpkin-head has been pouting because he feels like everyone is picking on him and he never gets any books. That doesn't sound like everyone is having fun."
"Hrmmmph...." as he throws the deck of cards at me. Point taken. Game over.
It brings back such good memories. Even the bickering. I had some good quarrels with my sisters that are now some of my fondest memories. Even the Risk Fiasco and The Great Uno Uprising (when my 3yo sister stomped the tar out of the rest of us who knew our numbers and could read!!) bring thoughts of "those were the good ole days"to mind. Does that mean I am getting old? Oh no.
I have been anxious for my kids to be old enough to understand the concept of games beyond Chutes and Ladders and Candyland. I really could not get into those games. They just bored me to tears. Don't even get me started on "Hi Ho Cherry-O". I hope that does not make me a terrible mother. I am not an athlete. You will not find me out running in the backyard, running with a soccerball or throwing a football, or trying to shoot a lay-up. But I do want some good, healthy competition, some jovial banter and laughter. I want to bond with my children in ways that only happen when you share jokes that no one understands unless they were at the table. That time has finally come. The family game time has arrived. I can almost taste the popcorn and hear the laughter.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Knocked off my Rocker
And I don't mean in the "mentally ill" sense of the word, which would be ironic considering I deal with mentally ill people all day long.
I feel knocked off my rocker by the Lord. I have been attending a Bible study on Monday nights by Beth Moore on the Patriarchs. She has said in the video that she feels that the women who are watching this and going through this study are called to it for a reason. And I do believe this to be true in my case but I did not fully comprehend why I felt this way. But after 7 weeks of study, I have reached the answer and it does not remotely revolve around "It fit into my schedule and was convenient".
I think that I have had two core issues that I have been wrestling with. It is interesting that I choose this picture of wrestling because we studied how Jacob wrestled all night with an angel of the Lord and would not let go until he got a blessing. I feel a bit like Jacob right now.
Issue #1:
Forgiving my former father-in-law. I have had no contact with him for the last 5 years. The last contact was a rather terse, harsh, and hateful email that probably wounded me more than anything and my reply reflected my own burning anger and hurt rather than the love and peace of Christ. It is complicated and I don't need to go into great detail about it. I know the issues and they are important only to me and to the Lord. However, what I have struggled with is forgiveness and letting go of the anger, the hurt and the deep sense of betrayal I have felt. Strangely, I have had a harder time forgiving him than I have had forgiving my ex-husband, who is in prison for the abuse of our daughter.
I don't pretend to understand why that is the case, but it is. I have felt a strong TUG to work this issue out, to let go of the hurt and the pain. I have struggled. I have stubbornly, and I mean stubbornly, refused to let it go. And I have felt the roots of bitterness taking hold. But I don't want my life to be shaped like that. Through the course of study, I have slammed into this subject from every direction one would think is possible. It cannot be denied. I have to forgive him. I have to let go. And at the same time, I know that I can let it go and I can decide to forgive him but it does not mean I need to let him back into my life and rebuild a relationship. Sometimes, it is not safe to do that and the Lord does not want us to walk back into abusive situations, but to deal with the past abuse and put it behind us. Or what I picture in my head as taking the "Doormat" sign off my head, and walking away, on the high but humble road.
In many of Beth's lessons, the SAME thing keeps coming to me. Do you think that is a clue? God could give me neon signs but evidently, He chose not to, He used His word to speak His will. In the margins of my lessons I have written several times, "Tulip, write M a letter." I need to acknowledge my own sin in holding a grudge, holding bitterness and anger against him, and ask him for forgiveness and then state that I am letting go of it all and that I will also forgive him for the pain and hurt I have felt from him. I started out with a "rough draft". It was 3 pages long. I get wordy sometimes. Too wordy, some would say. And then it hit me. The bare bones is all that needs to be said. "I'm sorry for holding anger and hurt against you for so long. Please forgive me. And I forgive you for the pain and hurt I have felt from you." And leave it at that and let the Lord take care of the rest.
Whew! And if that was not enough....
Issue #2
This is the hardest one to put into words. I have been abused by my ex-husband. There are people in my life who understand that and there are some who do not. It is the "do not's" that hurt. I want to make them understand the pain I went through, to know that some of my quirkiness has a source...some of my stubborness is because I am determined not to be pushed down and pushed around again...it's to protect myself. I have healed in so many ways but the scars are still there and they ache from time to time. The memories are there and I get flashbacks and react to those flashbacks. My abuse was not physical or sexual but that does not minimize or make it any less abuse. It was real and it had real effects in my life. My daughter was sexually abused. She has scars and some of her hurts have been dealt with but some things will not be dealt with until she is older and better able, more mature and what-have-you, to handle the loss of innocence. And that is real. She and I live with this every day. But Thank the Good Lord, I don't think about it every day like I used to. I don't dwell on it like I used to. She has accepted and dealt with it as much as she is able to at this point in her life. We have healed tremendously. We are walking miracles.
But there is a part of me that wants certain people to understand what happened to us. I would especially like her father (my ex) and my ex-father-in-law to "GET IT" but they don't, they won't and they most likely never will.
Beth said something last week and then something else similarly profound tonight: God is the only one who knows what I have gone through. He was there with me. He was there with me when it happened. He was with me during the fallout. He was with me through the healing. He is the ONLY ONE who gets it.
Whoa.
Then tonight, she gave some reasons for why we want people to "see" us but they don't: they are 1)oblivious, they are 2)unwilling, they are 3)unable, and 4)God is unwilling. But we don't need to have people fill our emotional needs. Give our emotional needs to God and He will fill them. And in the case of my abuser, he is oblivious to the pain he caused me. He is unwilling to see the pain he caused me and he is unable to see the pain he caused me. But I don't need him to because God has seen it all. God understands it all. God gets it all. And for the first time, with peace and quiet in my soul, I know that it is all I need.
This is why I am Knocked off my Rocker.
I feel knocked off my rocker by the Lord. I have been attending a Bible study on Monday nights by Beth Moore on the Patriarchs. She has said in the video that she feels that the women who are watching this and going through this study are called to it for a reason. And I do believe this to be true in my case but I did not fully comprehend why I felt this way. But after 7 weeks of study, I have reached the answer and it does not remotely revolve around "It fit into my schedule and was convenient".
I think that I have had two core issues that I have been wrestling with. It is interesting that I choose this picture of wrestling because we studied how Jacob wrestled all night with an angel of the Lord and would not let go until he got a blessing. I feel a bit like Jacob right now.
Issue #1:
Forgiving my former father-in-law. I have had no contact with him for the last 5 years. The last contact was a rather terse, harsh, and hateful email that probably wounded me more than anything and my reply reflected my own burning anger and hurt rather than the love and peace of Christ. It is complicated and I don't need to go into great detail about it. I know the issues and they are important only to me and to the Lord. However, what I have struggled with is forgiveness and letting go of the anger, the hurt and the deep sense of betrayal I have felt. Strangely, I have had a harder time forgiving him than I have had forgiving my ex-husband, who is in prison for the abuse of our daughter.
I don't pretend to understand why that is the case, but it is. I have felt a strong TUG to work this issue out, to let go of the hurt and the pain. I have struggled. I have stubbornly, and I mean stubbornly, refused to let it go. And I have felt the roots of bitterness taking hold. But I don't want my life to be shaped like that. Through the course of study, I have slammed into this subject from every direction one would think is possible. It cannot be denied. I have to forgive him. I have to let go. And at the same time, I know that I can let it go and I can decide to forgive him but it does not mean I need to let him back into my life and rebuild a relationship. Sometimes, it is not safe to do that and the Lord does not want us to walk back into abusive situations, but to deal with the past abuse and put it behind us. Or what I picture in my head as taking the "Doormat" sign off my head, and walking away, on the high but humble road.
In many of Beth's lessons, the SAME thing keeps coming to me. Do you think that is a clue? God could give me neon signs but evidently, He chose not to, He used His word to speak His will. In the margins of my lessons I have written several times, "Tulip, write M a letter." I need to acknowledge my own sin in holding a grudge, holding bitterness and anger against him, and ask him for forgiveness and then state that I am letting go of it all and that I will also forgive him for the pain and hurt I have felt from him. I started out with a "rough draft". It was 3 pages long. I get wordy sometimes. Too wordy, some would say. And then it hit me. The bare bones is all that needs to be said. "I'm sorry for holding anger and hurt against you for so long. Please forgive me. And I forgive you for the pain and hurt I have felt from you." And leave it at that and let the Lord take care of the rest.
Whew! And if that was not enough....
Issue #2
This is the hardest one to put into words. I have been abused by my ex-husband. There are people in my life who understand that and there are some who do not. It is the "do not's" that hurt. I want to make them understand the pain I went through, to know that some of my quirkiness has a source...some of my stubborness is because I am determined not to be pushed down and pushed around again...it's to protect myself. I have healed in so many ways but the scars are still there and they ache from time to time. The memories are there and I get flashbacks and react to those flashbacks. My abuse was not physical or sexual but that does not minimize or make it any less abuse. It was real and it had real effects in my life. My daughter was sexually abused. She has scars and some of her hurts have been dealt with but some things will not be dealt with until she is older and better able, more mature and what-have-you, to handle the loss of innocence. And that is real. She and I live with this every day. But Thank the Good Lord, I don't think about it every day like I used to. I don't dwell on it like I used to. She has accepted and dealt with it as much as she is able to at this point in her life. We have healed tremendously. We are walking miracles.
But there is a part of me that wants certain people to understand what happened to us. I would especially like her father (my ex) and my ex-father-in-law to "GET IT" but they don't, they won't and they most likely never will.
Beth said something last week and then something else similarly profound tonight: God is the only one who knows what I have gone through. He was there with me. He was there with me when it happened. He was with me during the fallout. He was with me through the healing. He is the ONLY ONE who gets it.
Whoa.
Then tonight, she gave some reasons for why we want people to "see" us but they don't: they are 1)oblivious, they are 2)unwilling, they are 3)unable, and 4)God is unwilling. But we don't need to have people fill our emotional needs. Give our emotional needs to God and He will fill them. And in the case of my abuser, he is oblivious to the pain he caused me. He is unwilling to see the pain he caused me and he is unable to see the pain he caused me. But I don't need him to because God has seen it all. God understands it all. God gets it all. And for the first time, with peace and quiet in my soul, I know that it is all I need.
This is why I am Knocked off my Rocker.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Wild Creatures in My Home
They are boys. Or as I heard someone else refer to her sons, and I have now adopted the phrase into my vocab, "the Boy-barians". They are wild, rowdy,mischievous, NOISY and just plain exhausting at times.
One would think that that by this time of night, they would be winding down and getting ready for sleep. Far from it!! No matter how much I have pleaded tonight, they continue their wild tyrade and can hardly hear myself think.
I love them but sometimes, they drive me crazy. Tonight would be one of those nights. It doesn't help that I have a full-blown, 10 on the Rickter scale, F-5 Migraine. I recognize that my tolerance of noise is far lower than my usual threshold.
In some ways, I am happy that the 3 of them are playing well together and enjoying each other's company. And for the time being, nobody is fighting, calling someone "idiot" or otherwise. Just a sidenote, "idiot" is not a word I condone in any sense but they have adopted it as a way to get under the skin of another and my job is now to monitor what words fly out of their mouth and to say, many times, "Do not call anyone an idiot."
I am counting down the minutes until I can put the wild creatures to bed. I hope they settle down but I won't hold my breath. 15 minutes and counting...
I am annoyed that I still have this headache. I have been having a lot of them in the last 6 months. In fact, I just saw my neurologist on Friday and I am going to start taking a daily migraine preventer. I have medicine that I can take when I feel a migraine starting, but I am out and so I called in a refill. When I went to pick it up, the pharmacist told me that my insurance company says it is too soon to refill it. I have to wait until November 13. It isn't her fault but I said to her, "But I have a headache today." She is just doing her job and she did say that she feels like pharmacies get caught in the middle. She suggested I find a "triptan" on my insuarance formulary that doesn't have such strict rules. Again, it does me no good for my pain today. I declined to pay full price for 1 pill and decided I would just have to ride it out. And I will be calling my insurance company on Monday.
As a nurse, I don't recommend doing this but I took a prescription that my doctor has discontinued. It was at my request because it gives me horrible heartburn and puts me completely in La-La land and it does not work very quickly. But it was all I had that I knew would eventually take care of the problem. However, it has been 7 1/2 hours since I took the first dose, 5 hours since I took a second dose and my head is still pounding and I feel like a wet noodle. It's not good.
But, 8 minutes til bedtime. The natives are still restless but have begun to get a little quieter. So, hopefully, this is a good sign. I'm praying it is.
The sweet thing from this however, was when my daughter prayed at supper and asked God to make mommy's headache go away so that mommy would feel better. She is such a tender-heart and caring girl. I was proud and humbled at that moment.
One would think that that by this time of night, they would be winding down and getting ready for sleep. Far from it!! No matter how much I have pleaded tonight, they continue their wild tyrade and can hardly hear myself think.
I love them but sometimes, they drive me crazy. Tonight would be one of those nights. It doesn't help that I have a full-blown, 10 on the Rickter scale, F-5 Migraine. I recognize that my tolerance of noise is far lower than my usual threshold.
In some ways, I am happy that the 3 of them are playing well together and enjoying each other's company. And for the time being, nobody is fighting, calling someone "idiot" or otherwise. Just a sidenote, "idiot" is not a word I condone in any sense but they have adopted it as a way to get under the skin of another and my job is now to monitor what words fly out of their mouth and to say, many times, "Do not call anyone an idiot."
I am counting down the minutes until I can put the wild creatures to bed. I hope they settle down but I won't hold my breath. 15 minutes and counting...
I am annoyed that I still have this headache. I have been having a lot of them in the last 6 months. In fact, I just saw my neurologist on Friday and I am going to start taking a daily migraine preventer. I have medicine that I can take when I feel a migraine starting, but I am out and so I called in a refill. When I went to pick it up, the pharmacist told me that my insurance company says it is too soon to refill it. I have to wait until November 13. It isn't her fault but I said to her, "But I have a headache today." She is just doing her job and she did say that she feels like pharmacies get caught in the middle. She suggested I find a "triptan" on my insuarance formulary that doesn't have such strict rules. Again, it does me no good for my pain today. I declined to pay full price for 1 pill and decided I would just have to ride it out. And I will be calling my insurance company on Monday.
As a nurse, I don't recommend doing this but I took a prescription that my doctor has discontinued. It was at my request because it gives me horrible heartburn and puts me completely in La-La land and it does not work very quickly. But it was all I had that I knew would eventually take care of the problem. However, it has been 7 1/2 hours since I took the first dose, 5 hours since I took a second dose and my head is still pounding and I feel like a wet noodle. It's not good.
But, 8 minutes til bedtime. The natives are still restless but have begun to get a little quieter. So, hopefully, this is a good sign. I'm praying it is.
The sweet thing from this however, was when my daughter prayed at supper and asked God to make mommy's headache go away so that mommy would feel better. She is such a tender-heart and caring girl. I was proud and humbled at that moment.
Friday, November 9, 2007
I have officially become a "Mother"
It is not, as one would think, because I have gone through 4 pregnancies and 1 miscarriage and am completely enmeshed in the 24/7/365 aspects of parenting 4 active children. And it is not because I have changed billions of diapers, been spit up on, thrown up on, up all night with a sick child or kissing an endless stream of boo-boo's.
I became "Mother" when I reached a point of complete exasperation, and I have one child who is an EXPERT at getting me to that point quickly and on a daily basis, and bellowed out,
"YOU WILL DO IT BECAUSE I AM THE MOTHER AND I SAID SO."
Ugh.
I told myself when I was a teenager, and so much wiser than my parents, that "I WILL NEVER SAY 'BECAUSE I SAID SO'." But since the day I said that to my child, I have realized that there are times when that is the absolute, unequivocal fact; I have not other purpose but to have you obey me because of who I am and what I have told you to do. " And Child, you will do what I say because I say so...no more arguments, no more complaints or whining or "Why?"...Just do it and do it now!"
Actually, at that point, I have realized in my hindsight analysis (and sometimes that is the only analysis I am capable of), I am out of answers. I have answered all the why's, I have given the moral reason for the request. I have supplied the facts. And there is nothing left to say. And this child does not even really want to know the answers, he just does not want to do it and hopes that if he pushes Mother far enough, she will break and he will escape the chore.
Well, Young One, I am on to you! I know your game.
Have I mentioned that this paricular child and I are in therapy for behavior and issues with ADHD. He is my strong-willed child and he is my brightest child, possibly a genius intellect. He keeps me on my toes and also on my knees in prayer. This week, therapy was with me only. It was time for some feedback and some new homework. With a child such as BB, the usual tactics don't work. Since I am a parent who believes strongly what it says in Proverbs, that I am to teach a child in the way that he should go, or according to his bend, I have realized I need to explore some different approaches.
BB can be very non-compliant and sometimes, down-right ugly and belligerent. Other times, he is the sweetest little cuddle-bug who is creative, funny and witty and so precious and cute. And he knows how to push my buttons. I need to find an edge.
What the therapist told me to do this week, is to be very deliberate in pointing out the things he does right. And she said, it will take some work and some shadowing and a lot less multi-tasking. With her help, I have come to realize that it also works well to break things down into very small steps and offer praise for each small step.
With my other kids, even the 4.5 year old, I can say, "Go and change your clothes." and they will do that. They get the implied directions in there. But with BB, and he has been like this as long as I can remember, if I say that to him, he will head off to his room with the intention of doing what I ask but along the way, he will see a peice of paper and he will start to think about drawing a cartoon. This leads him to go and find a pencil so he can get his idea out. While looking for the pencil, he comes across a few legos. Suddenly, he is building a ship or an airplane and I come down the stairs and see that he has not changed his clothing and is not doing what I asked. I have come to understand that he is not being willful and defiant at this point. He is distractable. This is part of the ADHD. The willful and defiant part comes in when I ask him to put the legos down and go change his clothes and now he is fully engaged in the legos and doesn't like having to stop doing what he is enjoying. And now there is a battle going on. And some days, he seems to wake up with this surly, cranky demeanor, more so than other days.
So, what the therapist is recommending that I do then is to break things down into very specific and small tasks. I have already begun doing this. I will tell him to go and change his shirt. Actually, I think what I have said is, "BB, change your clothes which means...a clean shirt, clean pants and clean underwear." But even that is too big a bite because he has been known to throw a clean shirt over the top of the dirty shirt. One day last year, in fact, I noticed he was looking kind of bulky. So, I pulled off his sweater only to find a sweatshirt, over another sweatshirt, over a T shirt and then another shirt. He had on 5 layers of shirts and 3 layers of pants!
Now, my task is to be more deliberate adn more specific. What I need to do is "shadow" him more and praise him at short intervals when he is being compliant. I won't get into all the behaviorism theory behind it all but it makes a lot of sense. Starting this weekend, I will be paying closer attention to what he is doing and giving affirmation for the right things he is doing and paying less attention to the negative behaviors.
Hopefully, I will get better and won't have to resort to the "Do it because I said so" methods.
I became "Mother" when I reached a point of complete exasperation, and I have one child who is an EXPERT at getting me to that point quickly and on a daily basis, and bellowed out,
"YOU WILL DO IT BECAUSE I AM THE MOTHER AND I SAID SO."
Ugh.
I told myself when I was a teenager, and so much wiser than my parents, that "I WILL NEVER SAY 'BECAUSE I SAID SO'." But since the day I said that to my child, I have realized that there are times when that is the absolute, unequivocal fact; I have not other purpose but to have you obey me because of who I am and what I have told you to do. " And Child, you will do what I say because I say so...no more arguments, no more complaints or whining or "Why?"...Just do it and do it now!"
Actually, at that point, I have realized in my hindsight analysis (and sometimes that is the only analysis I am capable of), I am out of answers. I have answered all the why's, I have given the moral reason for the request. I have supplied the facts. And there is nothing left to say. And this child does not even really want to know the answers, he just does not want to do it and hopes that if he pushes Mother far enough, she will break and he will escape the chore.
Well, Young One, I am on to you! I know your game.
Have I mentioned that this paricular child and I are in therapy for behavior and issues with ADHD. He is my strong-willed child and he is my brightest child, possibly a genius intellect. He keeps me on my toes and also on my knees in prayer. This week, therapy was with me only. It was time for some feedback and some new homework. With a child such as BB, the usual tactics don't work. Since I am a parent who believes strongly what it says in Proverbs, that I am to teach a child in the way that he should go, or according to his bend, I have realized I need to explore some different approaches.
BB can be very non-compliant and sometimes, down-right ugly and belligerent. Other times, he is the sweetest little cuddle-bug who is creative, funny and witty and so precious and cute. And he knows how to push my buttons. I need to find an edge.
What the therapist told me to do this week, is to be very deliberate in pointing out the things he does right. And she said, it will take some work and some shadowing and a lot less multi-tasking. With her help, I have come to realize that it also works well to break things down into very small steps and offer praise for each small step.
With my other kids, even the 4.5 year old, I can say, "Go and change your clothes." and they will do that. They get the implied directions in there. But with BB, and he has been like this as long as I can remember, if I say that to him, he will head off to his room with the intention of doing what I ask but along the way, he will see a peice of paper and he will start to think about drawing a cartoon. This leads him to go and find a pencil so he can get his idea out. While looking for the pencil, he comes across a few legos. Suddenly, he is building a ship or an airplane and I come down the stairs and see that he has not changed his clothing and is not doing what I asked. I have come to understand that he is not being willful and defiant at this point. He is distractable. This is part of the ADHD. The willful and defiant part comes in when I ask him to put the legos down and go change his clothes and now he is fully engaged in the legos and doesn't like having to stop doing what he is enjoying. And now there is a battle going on. And some days, he seems to wake up with this surly, cranky demeanor, more so than other days.
So, what the therapist is recommending that I do then is to break things down into very specific and small tasks. I have already begun doing this. I will tell him to go and change his shirt. Actually, I think what I have said is, "BB, change your clothes which means...a clean shirt, clean pants and clean underwear." But even that is too big a bite because he has been known to throw a clean shirt over the top of the dirty shirt. One day last year, in fact, I noticed he was looking kind of bulky. So, I pulled off his sweater only to find a sweatshirt, over another sweatshirt, over a T shirt and then another shirt. He had on 5 layers of shirts and 3 layers of pants!
Now, my task is to be more deliberate adn more specific. What I need to do is "shadow" him more and praise him at short intervals when he is being compliant. I won't get into all the behaviorism theory behind it all but it makes a lot of sense. Starting this weekend, I will be paying closer attention to what he is doing and giving affirmation for the right things he is doing and paying less attention to the negative behaviors.
Hopefully, I will get better and won't have to resort to the "Do it because I said so" methods.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
I think I did something right!
Being the single mom of 4 munchkins is not easy. And there are times when I feel completely inept and incapable of the monumental task of raising 4 children to love the Lord, love each other and have strong moral compasses. And sometimes, I'm just so tired, I can hardly think of how to handle some of my challenges.
But tonight, I feel like I did something right or at least it appears to have worked. But time will tell. But I will still praise the Lord for the moment of victory and the hope I feel in my heart that I CAN do this.
Here is what happened. I spent too many hours this weekend, sweeping floors repeatedly and finding that no sooner are things picked up and set right in our living area, they seem to get messed up faster than a blink. Yesterday, I asked my school kids to have the livingroom picked up by the time I got home. It would be an hour, which should be more than enough time. I stressed this wish and dare I say, command, as I left for work. I even called in the afternoon to once again warn them that this must be done.I told each child individually, on the phone and had them repeat it back to me.
Low and behold, when I walked in the door. My jaw dropped. Not only was the mess from the morning still there, complete with icky cereal bowls still on the table, but the mess had grown and increased in volume. I shook my head in disbelief. And then I had everyone get off their little keisters and put things back in place. It was far from perfect but tolerable and we had to eat quickly and head out the door so that I could go to Bible study.
So, today, when I had some spare moments I started kicking around some ideas about how to motivate my children to do the things I want them to do. The yard continues to be another source of agrivation. Things go missing. I have "lost" two pairs of garden snips and there are various items strewn across the lawn. I am thinking of devising a scavenger hunt, with a list of things to find and collect from the yard. Each kid can have a paper bag and the ones who can read, can carry a list. And then send them off to find everything on the list (and then some). I may have to have some sort of prize at the end to make it a valid contest and to increase the fun while getting the work I need done.
This then sent me down another rabbit trail to other issues I have with motivation. By the time I got home, I had a fully-baked scheme devised. And sure enough, when I walked in the door, the mess had grown again. It really stresses me out. I work long days and I then come home and cook dinner, help with homework, do dishes, laundry and various cleaning as needed (sometimes desperately needed) and then send everyone to bed and I can then relax for a while before I go to bed. And having to manuever around toys, papers, garbage, clothes,backpacks, and lunch boxes, just to find the kitchen counter just about set me off on a tirade of screaming. But the blessing for the children is that I am also coming down with a cold or a flu and my voice is crackly and not strong enough to yell. So I needed a different tactic. Thus my plan.
I called all 4 young-uns in and told them that I was not happy with the state of the living area and that they would need to clean it. I told them that I was going to set the timer for 10 minutes. And if they were not done in 10 minutes, then I would start counting the minutes after and start deducting 10 minutes off of bedtime. They started to scramble and sort of made progress but tempers also started flaring and some yelling and arguing about who was doing or better still, not doing anything just about set my nerves over the edge. So, I stopped the clock at -1 minute (or 10 minutes from bedtime). I called a meeting in the livingroom. And I did some explaining about how we are to treat each other and what the purpose of this activity was.
I also explained that the time was to be used by all, they were to work as a team and yelling at each other and checking out who is doing more or who is not doing enough is not helping with the team work. And I also explained that I expected more from the oldest two because they are older. Peanut, I explained, is just learning how to clean up. He isn't very fast and he is not going to seem like he is sharing his part of the load. But then I also pointed out that the mess in the house was created by the 3 school kids while Peanut and Mom were not home, so he was going to chip in because we are a family and a team but not because he was responsible for making the mess. I also explained that they have not done the basic things I have asked such as putting their lunch boxes on the counter, hanging up their jackets and backpacks as well as NOT cleaning the livingroom as I asked yesterday, so this was part of their consequence from that.
At the end of the meeting, I told them that the timer was going to be set and if it took 10 minutes or more, then they would go to bed an hour early. I had to do some readjusting in my 10 minutes for each 1 minute because the math didn't work...so I figured out quarter hours instead. They finished with 30 seconds to spare. At this point, I figured I would extend a small grace. I told them that they had finished "under" ten minutes, so they would not get the full hour. But they would still have to go to bed 45 minutes early. By this point, they had accepted their fate and we proceeded to eat dinner, do homework and even do some coloring.
Here is the hard part, for me, the MOM. The whole time they are scrambling to clean up, while yelling at complaining at each other, my heart is breaking as I watch the timer count down. I so wanted them to get it done in the time I asked. And I began to second guess myself...maybe I was too hard or it was too short a time or too big a job...But as I had this internal argument with myself, this other part of me was saying, "Tulip, you have got to stick to your guns and do this because those kids need to have a consequence. They need to learn that they are responsible for following your directions..and sometimes that means a stiff consequence..."
Once I realized that, I felt better and I felt stronger.
But my daughter, when I announced it was bedtime, tried to wangle a few extra minutes. And I stood my ground...and said NO, firmly. Then she tried her other tactic..."But I need to read my book for school." So I told her to read while laying on her bed..."But I wanted to read to YOU."
Nice try, Butterfly.
So, it is 8:25 and showers have been done. Homework is done. The livingroom is clean and the kids are settling down to bed. I will have to do this again. I hope that this little lesson sticks for a while.
But tonight, I feel like I did something right or at least it appears to have worked. But time will tell. But I will still praise the Lord for the moment of victory and the hope I feel in my heart that I CAN do this.
Here is what happened. I spent too many hours this weekend, sweeping floors repeatedly and finding that no sooner are things picked up and set right in our living area, they seem to get messed up faster than a blink. Yesterday, I asked my school kids to have the livingroom picked up by the time I got home. It would be an hour, which should be more than enough time. I stressed this wish and dare I say, command, as I left for work. I even called in the afternoon to once again warn them that this must be done.I told each child individually, on the phone and had them repeat it back to me.
Low and behold, when I walked in the door. My jaw dropped. Not only was the mess from the morning still there, complete with icky cereal bowls still on the table, but the mess had grown and increased in volume. I shook my head in disbelief. And then I had everyone get off their little keisters and put things back in place. It was far from perfect but tolerable and we had to eat quickly and head out the door so that I could go to Bible study.
So, today, when I had some spare moments I started kicking around some ideas about how to motivate my children to do the things I want them to do. The yard continues to be another source of agrivation. Things go missing. I have "lost" two pairs of garden snips and there are various items strewn across the lawn. I am thinking of devising a scavenger hunt, with a list of things to find and collect from the yard. Each kid can have a paper bag and the ones who can read, can carry a list. And then send them off to find everything on the list (and then some). I may have to have some sort of prize at the end to make it a valid contest and to increase the fun while getting the work I need done.
This then sent me down another rabbit trail to other issues I have with motivation. By the time I got home, I had a fully-baked scheme devised. And sure enough, when I walked in the door, the mess had grown again. It really stresses me out. I work long days and I then come home and cook dinner, help with homework, do dishes, laundry and various cleaning as needed (sometimes desperately needed) and then send everyone to bed and I can then relax for a while before I go to bed. And having to manuever around toys, papers, garbage, clothes,backpacks, and lunch boxes, just to find the kitchen counter just about set me off on a tirade of screaming. But the blessing for the children is that I am also coming down with a cold or a flu and my voice is crackly and not strong enough to yell. So I needed a different tactic. Thus my plan.
I called all 4 young-uns in and told them that I was not happy with the state of the living area and that they would need to clean it. I told them that I was going to set the timer for 10 minutes. And if they were not done in 10 minutes, then I would start counting the minutes after and start deducting 10 minutes off of bedtime. They started to scramble and sort of made progress but tempers also started flaring and some yelling and arguing about who was doing or better still, not doing anything just about set my nerves over the edge. So, I stopped the clock at -1 minute (or 10 minutes from bedtime). I called a meeting in the livingroom. And I did some explaining about how we are to treat each other and what the purpose of this activity was.
I also explained that the time was to be used by all, they were to work as a team and yelling at each other and checking out who is doing more or who is not doing enough is not helping with the team work. And I also explained that I expected more from the oldest two because they are older. Peanut, I explained, is just learning how to clean up. He isn't very fast and he is not going to seem like he is sharing his part of the load. But then I also pointed out that the mess in the house was created by the 3 school kids while Peanut and Mom were not home, so he was going to chip in because we are a family and a team but not because he was responsible for making the mess. I also explained that they have not done the basic things I have asked such as putting their lunch boxes on the counter, hanging up their jackets and backpacks as well as NOT cleaning the livingroom as I asked yesterday, so this was part of their consequence from that.
At the end of the meeting, I told them that the timer was going to be set and if it took 10 minutes or more, then they would go to bed an hour early. I had to do some readjusting in my 10 minutes for each 1 minute because the math didn't work...so I figured out quarter hours instead. They finished with 30 seconds to spare. At this point, I figured I would extend a small grace. I told them that they had finished "under" ten minutes, so they would not get the full hour. But they would still have to go to bed 45 minutes early. By this point, they had accepted their fate and we proceeded to eat dinner, do homework and even do some coloring.
Here is the hard part, for me, the MOM. The whole time they are scrambling to clean up, while yelling at complaining at each other, my heart is breaking as I watch the timer count down. I so wanted them to get it done in the time I asked. And I began to second guess myself...maybe I was too hard or it was too short a time or too big a job...But as I had this internal argument with myself, this other part of me was saying, "Tulip, you have got to stick to your guns and do this because those kids need to have a consequence. They need to learn that they are responsible for following your directions..and sometimes that means a stiff consequence..."
Once I realized that, I felt better and I felt stronger.
But my daughter, when I announced it was bedtime, tried to wangle a few extra minutes. And I stood my ground...and said NO, firmly. Then she tried her other tactic..."But I need to read my book for school." So I told her to read while laying on her bed..."But I wanted to read to YOU."
Nice try, Butterfly.
So, it is 8:25 and showers have been done. Homework is done. The livingroom is clean and the kids are settling down to bed. I will have to do this again. I hope that this little lesson sticks for a while.
Friday, November 2, 2007
Reflections
Every year, around this time, I start to write my annual newsletter that goes out with my Christmas card. I enjoy doing it and the feedback I get is positive, so I continue the tradition.
I wrote out my little stories about my kids and what has happened over the last year. I found myself on the backpage with about half a page of empty space and scratched my head for a while as I figured out what to put there. I finally came up with a "What I have learned this year". I haven't decided if it is complete yet. But I think I will put it out here, and I may get some more ideas as I write some more.
The Top Things TulipMom has learned in 2007:
***Don't put bleach in trash cans that have been urinated in. It makes a deadly gas. ***Smile and laugh a lot. ***Cry when you need to. ***Enjoy life's spontaneous moments like 180' rainbows through the eyes of a 4 year old, fireworks from the side of the road, the thrill of new shoes ***It's ok to get lost. Sometimes you learn lots more than new roads. ***Plan accordingly. ***Relax and take a deep breath when things don't go right. ***Play. ***Take vacations, even if they are short ones. ***Houses don't clean themselves but that's ok. It can wait. ***My kids love my homemade pizza (it is perhaps the only thing I make that they like) ***Eat breakfast every day. ***Eat lots of vegetables. ***Try new things. ***Fake it til you feel it. ***Keep going. ***The bliss of a Saturday morning. ***It is wonderful to have no child in diapers!***Boys will fight whether you like it or not, so teach them to fight fair or out of mom's earshot ***Pigs are cute. Little boys who love pigs are even cuter ***Coffee, it should be it's own food group. ***Kids grow up entirely too fast.
I wrote out my little stories about my kids and what has happened over the last year. I found myself on the backpage with about half a page of empty space and scratched my head for a while as I figured out what to put there. I finally came up with a "What I have learned this year". I haven't decided if it is complete yet. But I think I will put it out here, and I may get some more ideas as I write some more.
The Top Things TulipMom has learned in 2007:
***Don't put bleach in trash cans that have been urinated in. It makes a deadly gas. ***Smile and laugh a lot. ***Cry when you need to. ***Enjoy life's spontaneous moments like 180' rainbows through the eyes of a 4 year old, fireworks from the side of the road, the thrill of new shoes ***It's ok to get lost. Sometimes you learn lots more than new roads. ***Plan accordingly. ***Relax and take a deep breath when things don't go right. ***Play. ***Take vacations, even if they are short ones. ***Houses don't clean themselves but that's ok. It can wait. ***My kids love my homemade pizza (it is perhaps the only thing I make that they like) ***Eat breakfast every day. ***Eat lots of vegetables. ***Try new things. ***Fake it til you feel it. ***Keep going. ***The bliss of a Saturday morning. ***It is wonderful to have no child in diapers!***Boys will fight whether you like it or not, so teach them to fight fair or out of mom's earshot ***Pigs are cute. Little boys who love pigs are even cuter ***Coffee, it should be it's own food group. ***Kids grow up entirely too fast.
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