It was just a few years ago when I was finishing up my nursing degree and I was swamped with papers, reading enormous books (we spent so much time with one of them, we nursing girls called the book our boyfriend Iggy) and driving all over the Metro for clinicals in the wee hours of the morning until way past the best part of the sunshine. I thought I was tired and stressed out then. It was also the fall that my oldest son was in the process of being diagnosed with ADHD and I was getting multiple phone calls a day from his teacher and the principal saying that BB was hiding under his desk, running off down the halls (requiring the principal, the secretary and possibly a custodian to locate him and return him to his classroom) and just causing a raucous in the classroom. It was also that fall that my youngest overdosed on 50-75 children's multivitamins and had to spend the night in Children's getting his blood drawn and a rapid flush IV and then I spent the next 6 weeks worried about bowel obstructions and liver damage.
For some reason, as busy as that time was, I feel more busy and more stressed right now keeping up with my children's homework. I kid you not when I say that we spent the better part of Tuesday night finishing homework and at 9pm, when it was bedtime, Princess was not finished but couldn't keep her eyes open. BB had declared that he was not going to do his homework because "I don't care." and proceeded to tear his math page into small shredded squares.
PH had homework too and I was riding him hard because I got a call last week from his teacher saying he had not been turning in any homework. Listen to the reply of this smart mother:
Oh, has he had homework?
This was clearly impressive to his teacher. She then informed me that all homework pages would have the word "Return" on the top that the child would also highlight. She then proceeded to rattle off all the things he had not turned in. I asked her to send me duplicates and we would get it done. We did a big "High Five" and a knuckle rub when we finished the last overdue assignment. But sadly, the homework just keeps coming. And often it involves "Things to do with your parents".
And while this was happening, Princess got a report card mailed home at midterm because she was getting not just one but two D's and an F. And the reason??? She had not turned in assignments and thus received partial or no credit. Her Language Arts class, and the F, requires her to read 30 minutes a day and when she finishes one of the Accelerated Reading books, she can take a quiz. Well, we learned that these AR points are 1/3 of her grade and I informed her that she best get busy reading and finish her book by the end of the weekend.
The good news is that Princess did complete her book and took the quiz. She got 10/10! She was so excited. They also finished reading a book in class and took another quiz in which she got 9/10. When I checked her grades online. Her F had become a B!!! The look on her face was absolutely priceless. And she has had her nose to the grindstone ever since. She has dutifully done her homework every night AND she has had her nose in a new book. She is almost finished with this book after just starting it on Tuesday. I love it!
But I am soooo tired. I thought that when my kids got out of Diapers and Sippy Cups my life would get a little easier. I have been sorely mis-informed and I would like to speak to the director of this cruise because they lied in the brochure!
Princess remarked that we have not sat down at the table for dinner together since Sunday afternoon. We have had something going on every evening. Granted, they are good things but they do take up our time. And I don't know that I should give them up. But I do think that we, as a family, need to get better about how we do things and how we spend our time.
I have relaxed a little on the household chores because I figure right now, school is my kids job #1. I want them to complete their homework and learn the skills of diligence, perseverance and putting first things first. So, that means that the other stuff is going to fall more on my lap. But perhaps, I have let them slide just a little too much and I need to enforce some other habits so that I don't feel so stressed out, and so that the dishes don't sit dirty in the sink for 4 days, growing fur coats and creating new aroma's.
I think it is about learning to strike some sort of balance. Right now, I feel very off kilter. Even with that feeling of being half-way to crazy-ville complete with migraine headaches, scratchy eyes and more irritableness than I like to display, I like sitting down with my kids and showing Peanut how to draw his letters or playing math games with PH and BB or letting Princess teach me French. In these moments, I have opportunities to tune in to their world, to listen to them talk about what they are learning and see how they are growing and sometimes, I can help them make connections from school to other things. And for a few minutes, there is harmony.
And even though it doesn't last long because someone calls someone else a "dimwit" and uses the baby brother as a punching bag...another declares that they are allergic to soap and clean and don't need to take a shower because they like being dirty ("It's my look.") and the living room is strewn with Lego's, the upstairs is covered in piles of laundry waiting to be washed...at some point, they all fall asleep. While I know we will go through this craziness again tomorrow, at least I know we made it through this day. It wasn't perfect. It's not always pretty. But as I look into the faces of my kids, even the one covered in bubble gum, the one with cinnamon in his hair (courtesy of a brother) and the one with red marker on his ear (Did I mention it was picture day?) and I realize, I love them and would take a million crazy days over a perfectly clean house, dishes that never sat dirty and bathrooms that never smelled like latrines. This is life. It's messy. It's noisy. It's mine.
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