Oh My Aching Ear

I have this fear that I am going to develop a condition called Meneire's disease in which the inner ear becomes so badly damaged that the body loses some equilibrium, experiences vertigo to the point of vomiting and then hearing loss. My Grandmother has it and is virtually deaf in one ear.

Over the past few weeks, I have been stumbling a lot and bumping into things. I am already a self-proclaimed klutz with another irrational fear that I will one day fall backwards down the stairs. It has no basis in reality, thus the irrational fear. Or perhaps I will trip over my own feet and land in some precarious position in front of many people, no doubt while wearing a skirt, and not only bruise my body but also my pride.

Earlier this week, I was with a client and I got up from his kitchen table and stumbled and landed on my ankle oddly. He asked if I was alright. I told him, "I'm fine. Just not graceful." He chuckled. But I felt that fear rise up in me.

Further compounding my fear of this disease is a problem with my ear that has gotten worse. My right ear has been ringing and feeling sort of stuffed. It feels like it is constantly in a state of needing to pop but nothing I do works. I have tried to tip my head in various odd angles to see if I got water in it. No help. I try to plug my nose and blow out. Nothing. I have ridden the elevator to the top floor and down hoping that the rapid change in pressure would help. Nada.

Today my hearing is affected. Things sound muffled on that side and sometimes I get an echo from music which is very annoying. Certain noises add more pressure to my ear and while I wouldn't describe it as pain, I am experiencing discomfort beyond annoyance. So I called the doctor.

She thinks I have clogged Eustachian tubes from excessive nasal congestion and because of it, my ear cannot equalize the pressure. She prescribed a nasal corticosteroid but said if it doesn't get better in a few weeks, I will need to see an ENT. But the nasal spray may take several days to begin to have an effect. It is supposed to decrease the swelling of mucous membranes in my sinuses.

All I know is that at the moment, noise is really starting to bother me. I can't tolerate it. I'm sitting upstairs, the kids are downstairs watching TV and I can hear it echoing in my ear from hear. It is making me very cranky. Some of my children speak very softly so I am having to ask them to speak up but the louder the volume, the greater the pressure on my ear so not only can I not hear what they are saying but it is hurting my head to try and listen to them.

I did my nasal spray. I will follow the doctor's recommendations and pray that this eases up soon and that I am not developing Meneire's and will not have to go to the ENT. I would probably have to get another CT scan. It could be an annual event. I may be a rare individual who is intimately acquainted with the internal structure of her head. And since I had an MRI last summer, I also know what my brain looks like.

For once, I sort of wish I could suffer in silence. It would be welcome relief at this point.