From the Desk of: Tiger, Your Friendly Family Cat

It has come to my attention that you, the two-legged ones, who share my home have forgotten a few of the basic rules of living with us, the cats. So, I am going to clarify those rules for you:

1. We, Tiger and Shadow, expect that there will be food in both of our bowls every morning. We would prefer it to be poured promptly at 5 am. If you are not up at 5 am to do so, then we will begin a game of Chase and Tag-Your-It which will include and not be limited to, running across your bed and possibly your head.
2. We do not like doors to be closed. We will scratch at them until you let us in and we don’t care if you are using your version of a litter box. Open the door or we will continue to scratch and yell at you until you do.
3. All flat surfaces are our domain. Get over it. This includes the bathroom counter, the kitchen counter, the table and the end tables. It even includes the top of the refridgerator and those cute little shelves you have hanging on the wall. If it’s flat, we will like to rest on it.
4. We like to look out the window and smell the fresh air so please open the blinds and crack the window. This may be done shortly after we have our breakfast.
5. We also like baskets of clothes (and especially those that just come out of the dryer!) and balled up blankets. Since we are creatures of leisure, it is important that we have a variety of napping locations available at all times. Don’t bother making your bed, Shadow will just crawl up under the covers until she has her nap spot just right.
6. We like water. We don’t like to take baths but we like to watch water and we like to drink water. This means that watching you get wet in the shower or the tub is very fascinating but it does not mean we want to pulled in or splashed. It just makes us cranky and likely to find other locations besides that litterbox in the kitchen, if you catch my drift. We like to drink water but can’t fit our head in the glass so, if we find a tasty drink, we will knock it over to increase our access and share with each other and if you don’t want your mail to get wet, then you should not leave it on the table where the water is.
7. What I do while lying in the sink is my business. Sometimes, a cat needs a cool, quiet spot. And that is all I am going to say about that.
8. You are here for our amusement and pleasure. You will pet us when we want to be pet. We will sit on your lap when it suits us and we want a warm place to nap. Purring is something we do because it feels good to us. It has nothing to do with you, but it if makes you better, fine.
9. In conclusion, keep the food dish full, the litter box empty and the windows open and we will be very, very happy. We may even be inclined to snuggle up on your lap and purr.