In my very busy life, I have days when I really look forward to the kids going to bed. It will be the first time all day that I can relax and do something for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids to pieces and I love to spend time with them but they are energy sappers and I am an introvert by nature. What I have learned about being an introvert is that I need a lot of down time in order to get rejuvenated and refreshed and ready to go back out into the world of people and energy sappers again. For this reason, bedtime is very important to me. And I am strict about what time it starts.

9 o’clock pm. Sharp. If it goes beyond 9 pm, I have been known to grow fangs and become a bit short-tempered. Sometimes I have days when I wish that bedtime would come a little sooner than 9 pm. But my ability to send children to bed early has been thwarted by their increasing ability to tell time and their awareness of daylight and darkness. And I have tried but I get the response back, usually from Smarty-pants BB, “It’s only 8:57. We have 3 more minutes.”

Even though my bedtime is strict, my kids are not great about staying in bed at 9pm. And they try to stretch out the bedtime process as much as possible. The following is a list of things they have said to me.

Why I can’t Go to Bed Yet:

1. I need my favorite ______________ pajamas (fill in Batman, Spiderman, Comfy, Fuzzy or “You know what one’s I like”) and you did not wash them yet.

2. I have to go to the bathroom.

But honey, you just went a few minutes ago.

I have to go again. This is my EMERGENY bathroom trip.

You used that one already…4 bathroom times ago. You do remember that Mom is a nurse and knows that it is physically impossible, even for a boy such as yourself to have to use the bathroom more times in 15 minutes than you go all day because your kidneys only produce about a teaspoon of urine an hour and your bladder will only tell your brain it is full and needs to be empty when there are many more teaspoons in there…

3. I need a glass of water.

4. I wanted to bring you a glass of water. You looked thirsty.

5. I forgot something downstairs.

Like what?

Ummmm….I don’t remember but I will know it when I see it.

If you don’t know what it is, how do you know you even forgot it?

It just feels like I forgot something, that's all.

6. I have to say good-night to everyone.

7. I wanted to hug the cat and she is downstairs.

8. I needed to ask __________ a question.
And it can’t wait til tomorrow?
No.
What is the question?
I wanted to know the name of that guy in Arkham Asylum with Penguin.
And how will that help you sleep?
I just need to know his name.

9. I forgot to do my homework.
You’re in kindergarten. You don’t get homework until Friday.

10. I’m waiting for __________ to go to bed…or to get out of the bathroom.

11. You didn’t tuck me in.
Yes, I did.
But I don’t remember.

12. You didn’t hug me.

13. I can’t find my ___________________(insert current favorite plushie friend). I can’t sleep without him.

14. The cat keeps jumping on me.
Ummm, Shadow is here hiding behind my keyboard and Tiger is out in the garage. Nice try.

15. My brother won’t stop talking. He keeps calling me Idiot.

16. That show your watching..it’s my favorite.
It’s the news.
I know. I love the news.

17. I’m not sleepy.

18. I just want to know who you are talking to on Facebook. Will you say Hi for me?

19. I just wanted to know what you are doing.

20. I forgot to tell you that I love you.

21. What are we doing tomorrow?