1. Who ate ALL 32 tubes of Go-gurt just purchased on Friday night and then left the empty box as well as the empty wrappers strewn about the living room?
I may never know but they, and I will include all 4 "they's" in this statement, will not soon get go-gurt again. However, I wonder if I did perhaps buy it more often, the novelty of it would wear off and they would leave it alone. It seems to have worked for cottage cheese. But not so much for raisins, sour cream or shredded cheddar cheese...or pickles. Apparently, these items fall under the category of Fair Game.
2. Who ate 7 of my personal cups of yogurt, and it was for this explicit purpose that I did purchase the children their OWN yogurt in the form of a tube...so they would leave mine alone, and again, left the evidence, spoons and all...in the living room?
I made sure that I explained to each and every person under 5 feet tall and the age of 12 that this batch of yogurt was purchased for MOM alone...I make very few purchases in the realm of food that are only for me but I am trying to eat more healthy and the only thing I like for breakfast that keeps me satisfied until lunch and not gnawing off my own hand at the wrist is a bowl consisting of yogurt, a cut up apple and granola. All I ask is the have my yogurt left alone. Apparently, I shall have to resort to threatening notes and hostile symbols (for the one who is not yet literate) and several more stern lectures.
3. Where is my alarm clock?
I do know the perpetrator of this crime and I know why. I don't claim it makes sense to anyone other than an ADHD 10 year old. He was mad that I gave a little alarm clock to his sister. It was purchased by me, for the purpose of helping the children get off to school on time, but that was before I started bringing them to a sitter in the morning...and thus the alarm clock became merely decor in the living room and my dear daughter was in need of a louder, more abrupt alarm to help her wake up in the morning. However, he saw it and decided he would reclaim it...but when it did not happen... he broke that alarm clock and then hid mine. Thankfully, I did have another spare alarm or I would have had to resort to my cell phone and that would have caused me great anxiety because I cannot smack it and snooze it...It would mess up my morning ritual.
This mystery has been solved. While shredding documents, in an attempt to further organize my life, I pulled the top part off my shredder to discover why it was making the funny noise and continuing to grind when there was no longer paper inside...and low and behold, amidst the shredded confetti, lay my missing alarm clock. I do confess that now that some time has passed, I find this funny. A few weeks ago...not so much.
4. Where do all the pencils go? I just bought a large pack of mechanical and regular pencils and still I get complaints from the children "I can't find a pencil."?
5. Disappearing sweatshirts, jackets, mittens and snow pants... I think there is a Bermuda Triangle type vortex located in the school...it sucks these things in to the kids lockers and bless their little hearts when they try to pull them out of their lockers, they are unable to break them free and then more sweatshirts, mittens and snow pants get pulled in...Occasionally, some manage to break free and wind up washed up in the Lost & Found in the school cafeteria but my kids never seem to find their belongings.
6. Gum. I like to chew gum. I buy it and stash it in obscure pockets in my jacket or purse and my desk drawer at work. Yet somehow, I never seem to get more than a few pieces before I find an empty pack in my hiding spot. Weeks later, I come across a chewed wad somewhere in the house. When I ask about it, "I dunno"..."It wasn't me" and "I would NEVER do that..." is the answer I get. I think I need to get gum wrappers that have flavors like Juicy Tomato and Lima Bean Fresca...then I can hide my good flavor in the pseudo wrappers and perhaps my kids will leave it alone.
7. Exactly who are "Ida Know" and "Not-me" and why do my kids keep playing with these troublemakers?
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