I should have known. Boys are very different from girls. I don't buy into the whole "Nature vs. Nurture" debate. My boys came out of the womb acting like boys and my daughter came out acting very much like a girl, with the exception of her love for matchbox cars but note that she would line them up in long lines while wearing her prettiest, girliest dress.
I think I mentioned before that my friend gave me the idea of using a notebook as a way to keep the communication channels open between my Tween daughter and I. She and I bot love it. We have a secret way of letting each other know that we have written each other a note. She gets the chance to express some of her hurts and pains and I get to peer into her heart and try to understand what life feels like for her right now and then encourage her.
My 10 year old is struggling with the area of communication as well. He does not always do well handling feelings. He has made great improvement and I have been making a point of telling him the things I am seeing. But I thought perhaps this secret notebook would be a good idea for him too. He was very receptive to the idea. So, I showed him the notebook I bought and asked him to give me an idea about where we could put it so that we would both know how to find it.
He did say, and I was astounded that he came up with this,"Well, I don't know what would be a good place because I am not so good at remembering where I put things." This is very insightful for him. This is one of his struggles. I think having a spot for him to go to for this notebook will be beneficial in developing this skill. A bonus! However, he did locate a good spot that is visible yet not a place that others in the house will necessarily thing to dig around in.
He took the notebook and immediately wrote me a note. I really had to giggle. I will not make it a habit of sharing what he writes because that will violate the rule about privacy but he did not write anything deeply personal. Instead, he wrote a commercial plug that went something like this:
Dear Mom,
I need to renew the Lego magazine. This is the last issue. I really love this magazine. But you know that what I really want is the Lego Brickmaster magazine. You know the one that also sends out special lego kits. I got one for my birthday and it was great.
Love,
BB
Dear BB,
I know you love that magazine and have read it cover to cover several times each time you get an issue in the mail. We can certainly renew it. How much does the Brickmaster cost?
Love,
Mom
Dear Mom,
Don't you think that it would be well worth $39.95 for a year's worth of not only the magazine but also the lego kits. This is a special price and a value of over $70!!!! I would really love this. Would you help me get this?
Love,
BB
I laughed so hard when I read this. He is so funny. It is making me think that there is perhaps some room to negotiate here and figure out a way to work with him so that he can earn this.
The difference between boys and girls...no talk about feelings or how the day went or what frustrated him or any lines like his sister writes "Why is growing up so hard?"...but a sale's pitch!
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