You can ground me if you want to....

If I had not been so STEAMING mad, these words coming out of my 12 year old's mouth would have made me laugh until my sides ached. In the moment however, they only made me more angry.

Oh you are grounded, young lady. Count on it.

"For how long?"

I haven't figured that out yet. I'm still to mad to think straight but I will let you know.

I don't know if I have ever mentioned my alter ego, Yolanda on my blog before. She started out as a joke when I had a land-line and I asked to have my number unpublished. My phone number would show up on caller ID's as "Yolanda..." somebody. My Mom started calling me Yolanda and we would giggle. Then my friend KMB told me about his hulk moments with his kids. I believe he told me that his kids were probably wondering if he had turned back into Bruce Banner yet. I thought that was hilarious. So, then we started looking up the She-hulk but she apparently stayed in her green hulk form and became more of a lawyer type for the justice league. So, my alter ego Yolanda was born. When my kids get me really mad, and it takes a lot, Yolanda comes to visit with her foot a stompin' and her gum a snappin' and her loud voice telling the children, "Oh no you di'int..."

Yolanda came over last night. The living room becomes a real sore spot for me. And I had reached my threshold of Mess Tolerance. I told the kids to start picking up and not one of them looked me in the eye or stopped what they were doing. When I mentioned this, Princess said, "I am listening, Mom"

Well, it does not seem like it. You are not looking at me. You are not moving in a direction that would show me you have any intention of doing what I ask. Your brothers are continuing to play their video game. Nobody is moving. Therefore, no one is listening.

"But I AM listening."

Ding dong....Yolanda walks in and takes charge. Feet are scrambling, arms are flying and butts are moving. However, my kids have this tendency to "disappear" upstairs or into the bathroom for long periods of time. I called them on that and got nothing but flak for it. Flak and a whole lot of attitude.

The boys were busy cleaning under Yolanda's watchful eye and foot tapping. But Princess disappeared. Yolanda called up. No answer. She called again. Nothing. At this point, I went upstairs for the first time since I left for work.

When I got up there, I screamed. There was laundry, clean and dirty spread all over the floor in the hall and the boys room. Upturned laundry baskets all over the place and the door to Princess and my room was shut tight.

"Giiiiirrrrrrrrlllll....You better open that door right now... And answer me."

Nothing. I opened the door and there is Princess laying face down on MY bed. Ignoring me.

"I have been calling you over and over. You have not answered. Get up NOW."

She refused again.

"Get up NOW."

She stood up and said, "I'm tired of the boys being mean to me. You can ground me if you want to."

"We have another issue here. Right now, the issue is not your brothers being mean. The issue is your obedience. You were told, as was everyone else, that everyone works on the living room until it is done. I have called you and called you and you have ignored me. This is a big problem. And yes, you are grounded. But you still have to go down stairs and clean up the living room."

She muttered something about things not being fair and walked out of the room. Yolanda marched down after her.

"No one says a word about things being unfair. Do you understand me? This is not about fairness. You are talking to the wrong person about what is fair and what is not fair. Life is not ever going to be completely fair. You have to learn to deal with things the way they are. So, each one of you will get this living room clean. I will be sorting through the tornado that blew through upstairs and I don't want to hear an argument, a peep or anything remotely related to a squeak about who is doing what or not...DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?"

My living room is clean. For now. It took me an hour to sort through the laundry mess upstairs. Yolanda left until she is needed again. Princess will be grounded. I need to come up with a fair amount for her sauciness and disobedience.