Lessons in Parenting

Sometimes it is so hard to balance my role as “Mom—the Do-er of All” and “Mom—Advocate for You Can Now Do This Yourself” (And You Will Whether You Like It Or Not From This Day Forward. Amen). I had a Moment today.

Dear Princess is hurling into puberty at a rate far faster than I am prepared for. I love that she still loves My Little Ponies and likes me to call her Princess and her favorite T-shirts have cats and say things like Rock Me-owt. There is still a little girl inside the body of this blooming teenager. But she has shown me the physical evidence that puberty is on our doorstep. Maybe she knows that I would not believe it if I did not see it with my own eyes. There are some things that girls can’t hide from their mothers and then there are things they can. I appreciate the fact that she wants to share the changes she is going through with me. It’s important. But it scares me and I think she is a little scared too. Aside from the physical changes, there are the emotional changes that show me she is growing up too. I have dubbed it the Moody Roller Coaster. We are strapped in and hitting the bumps, hills and valleys and WHOA…Was I like this? Yowzaa! Sorry Mom!

Anyway, she is a month from being 12 years old. She goes to Middle school. She needs to take on more responsibility for things. For example, if you are going to make a bag of microwave popcorn after school, I’m fine with that. It’s what it’s there for. But, do not just throw the empty bag behind the couch!! Seriously, I expect that (don’t confuse “Expect” with “LIKE”) from your younger hyperactive brothers who have the attention spans of fleas in a circus but you, daughter, can throw it away. And I expect you to do so. It is part of your responsibility and part of the privilege of being at home by yourself in the afternoon.

That is a side bar. The MOMENT we had was about getting up in the morning and getting ourselves ready. She and I share a room. I have determined that from 6 am until 6:45 am is “Mom time”. It’s when I take my shower, do my morning routine etc. I don’t take care of anyone but myself. After that, I focus on getting everyone else ready to go out the door. They get an hour of my morning. I get 45 minutes. I think it is more than fair. However, daughter seems to think that it is MY fault that she did not get up in time and was therefore going to miss her bus. We had a discussion about this.

OK. It was a lecture. You caught me.

I lectured her about this. She has an alarm clock. She can set it to wake herself up any time between 6 and 6:30 and have plenty of time to dress, fix her hair and eat breakfast. Instead, she lays in bed and I spend 30 minutes of my “ME TIME” trying to dry my hair and wake her up, going back and forth from the bathroom to her bed. Then she has the nerve…can you believe it…the NERVE…to be mad that she does not have enough time! And because I was not finished with drying my hair and did not have her lunch made, then she could not possibly go downstairs and start making a sandwich because she was TOO COLD and did not want to go ALONE.

Excuse me??

Things are changing for Princess. I informed her that she would get 1 free ride to school from me today. But after today, if she did not get herself up and ready to get out to the bus on time, then she would suffer the consequences. If she misses the bus, then she will miss school and it will be unexcused.

I am still thinking about that one. That was a threat from when I was growing up. It made sense for my parents to say that because their work was at the complete opposite end of the planet from my school and for them to drive me to school would mean they would be over an hour late for work. Whereas, I can drop my daughter off at school on my way to work and not be late. But I think the consequence should be that I don’t change a thing about my morning routine. I don’t rush the boys out the door to give us extra time in order to get her to school before the bell rings and if she is tardy, then she will have the consequence of being tardy and I will not go in to the office and sign her in and excuse her.

Hmmm. I like that better.

She was horrified when I told her of my new plan. So, I do think that she will shape up a little more now. And I think that I can do some things different in the evening to take some of the pressure off in the morning. I can put the lunches together in the evening so that all that needs to be done is to make sandwiches and put them in backpacks. She can make her own sandwich. And she will get herself up with her own alarm clock.